


some say the Muses are nine - how careless!

by lesbians_and_puns



Category: Charlie's Angels (2019), Charlie's Angels (Movies)
Genre: Choking, F/F, Minor Elena Houghlin/Jane Kano/Sabina Wilson, Smut, also it goes 0 to 60 real fast like we go RIGHT into it, anyway, because of course she does, but there's a decent amount of aftercare / cute shit at the end, elena has a praise kink, jane is very sweet with elena and vice versa it's just still. kinky. sue me, like they're explicitly together in the fic but Sabina's on a mission, trust me though there's still a LOT of smut in the middle lmao, writing smut with two people is hard enough y'all, you get a brief intro but we get into the smut p quick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 15:35:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21658420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbians_and_puns/pseuds/lesbians_and_puns
Summary: Elena is extremely in love with Jane and Jane likes to tease her, in the bedroom, alot. Jane tops and she's really good at it. Safe, sane, consensual, but def kinky - read the tags.  [Title is from a Plato quote calling Sappho the tenth Muse. Felt fitting.]
Relationships: Elena Houghlin/Jane Kano
Comments: 12
Kudos: 136





	some say the Muses are nine - how careless!

**Author's Note:**

> to my IRL friends: turn back! do not read! do not pass go! ... and if you absolutely must, _please_, please, do not come crying to me. (that's a Derry Girls reference and if you don't watch the show you absolutely should)

In the first hour of meeting her, Elena had known Jane was dangerous. She’d seen Jane switch from waitress mode to formidable guardian angel in less than minute; the woman exuded a lethal confidence, and she was endlessly precise. Once, when they were all out at a bar, Sabina had gestured toward a tall, muscular man sitting a few tables away and asked Jane, eyebrows wiggling, how many different ways she could kill him. Jane had casually glanced over, downed the rest of her drink, and looked Sabina straight in the eye. “Seventeen.” (They’d had to leave the bar shortly afterward; it was clear within minutes of the interaction that it was time to take the evening to the bedroom.) 

What Elena hadn’t known at the time was that Jane cared with her entire soul. She would do anything for her or Sabina; she was thoughtful and kind and attentive and a rock that Elena could cling to when the seas got a little too stormy. She gave Elena the tough love she sometimes needed—usually when she was overworking herself trying to finish a block of code—but she also left small little gifts in places Elena was sure to find them, identified only by the scrap of paper bearing a handwritten cursive J attached to each one.

Maybe, if Elena had known both of these aspects of Jane’s personality when they first met, she could have seen this coming. Maybe—doubtfully, but maybe—she could have figured out how to pull herself together when Jane got into that mood that made her a force of nature.

But deep down Elena knew that no preparation would have ever been enough for Elena to hold her composure in this moment, with Jane’s hand holding her by her throat against their bedroom door, and Jane’s eyes burning straight through to Elena’s soul.

Jane hadn’t even kissed her yet, and Elena had already ruined another pair of underwear. Jane clearly knew the effect she was having on Elena. Her mouth was slightly parted, and her eyes heavy-lidded as she took in the sight of Elena panting in her grip.

“This turns you on, doesn’t it?” Jane whispered, and Elena felt another wave of arousal as Jane smirked at her. “You like it when I make you feel helpless. You like me choking you against our door.” Elena bit her lip and Jane raised an eyebrow as she tightened the pressure on Elena’s neck. “Answer me, darling,” she commanded softly, and Elena’s knees went weak.

“Fuck, _yes_,” Elena groaned, feeling shivers run down her body.

There was a laugh in Jane’s eyes, though she made a notable effort to not let it show in the rest of her face. “Good girl,” she said warmly, and Elena swallowed hard against the pressure on her throat. Jane’s pupils darkened, but she kept her voice far too innocent as she asked her next question. “Now, what do you need?”

Elena glared at Jane as best she could while already looking entirely fucked-out. Jane just smiled at her, unperturbed, until Elena gave up. She pressed herself toward Jane and whimpered when she met no success, Jane’s hand around her throat blocking any progress. “Touch me,” she gasped, shuddering at the admission and the desperation in her own voice. “Please, _please_ touch me, Jane, _please_ –”

Jane’s mouth curved into a self-satisfied smirk, but she moved slowly toward Elena. The hand that had been on her throat slackened, and Elena barely had time to miss the pressure when she felt Jane’s hands running up her arms, gently persuading them upward, before Jane captured both of Elena’s wrists in her hand and pressed them into the door above Elena’s head. Jane leaned in excruciatingly slowly, and Elena felt the heat of Jane’s breath at her collarbone. Elena desperately needed Jane’s mouth on her, but Jane’s lips didn’t make contact. Elena had to fight a groan as Jane’s breath ghosted across her skin as she moved her mouth up to Elena’s ear. “Color, baby?” Jane murmured, and Elena shivered.

“Green,” she answered, panting, “but if you don’t kiss me _right now_ I swear to _God_ –” 

She didn’t have a chance to finish her threat before Jane’s lips pressed against her own. Jane was chuckling at Elena’s desperation, deep and low in her throat, and the sound combined with the vibrations it sent through Jane’s lips and into their kiss had Elena’s head spinning. As they kissed, Jane kept Elena’s arms firmly pinned above her head by her wrists, but her other hand moved to settle firmly on Elena’s hip. Elena melted into the contact. Her head may have been spinning, but she still felt calm and secure with Jane’s body pressing her against the door. 

That is, she felt calm until Jane decided to slip her tongue into Elena’s mouth at the exact same time she brought her knee up to press _right_ between Elena’s legs. Elena heard herself whine as her back arched off the door. She was sure her knees would have given out completely if Jane hadn’t been keeping her upright. Jane kept kissing her in that overwhelming way as the hand she had on Elena’s hip pulled insistently downward, encouraging Elena to grind down on her knee. Elena obliged as best she could, rolling her hips downward, and she let out a choked little gasp when Jane’s knee hit at just the right angle. Jane pulled away, and Elena knew from her hungry gaze and the way she let her eyes travel up and down Elena’s body how fucked-out she must look. Jane took a minute to appreciate the sight before she leaned back in to whisper directly into Elena’s ear. “You must be desperate, darling,” and Elena felt her skin flush at the way the pet name dripped off Jane’s lips. “You’re halfway to coming and you’re still fully dressed.”

Elena groaned desperately as she looked down and realized Jane was right. Jane laughed quietly as she released Elena’s arms and moved away from the door, tilting her head to bite gently at Elena’s neck. She waited for Elena’s legs to stabilize enough to support her weight before she gave her another heated kiss, her hands holding Elena steady at her hips. 

“Take off your clothes for me,” Jane murmured against her lips, and Elena’s stomach did somersaults at the instruction. She curled her hands in Jane’s shirt and nodded.

“All of my clothes?” Elena asked, and Jane tilted her head, considering.

“How sexy is your underwear?” 

Elena felt a blush bloom across her chest as she avoided making eye contact. “… I wore it for you,” she said by way of an answer. Jane was momentarily silent, and Elena looked up just in time to see the broad smile spreading across her lips.

“Well, we can’t have all that effort go to waste, now can we?” Jane said, and Elena’s blush deepened to scarlet. Jane laughed again and extricated herself from Elena’s hands. She smacked Elena’s ass lightly and nodded toward the bed. “You’re still wearing too many clothes.”

Elena’s hand flew to undo the button to her pants, shucking them off hastily before Jane’s hand tangled in her hair. She closed her eyes at the contact and took a deep breath before looking at Jane. “Can I keep my shirt on?” she asked, and Jane gave her a puzzled and slightly concerned look before leaning forward and kissing her gently.

“Of course, baby,” Jane said. “Color? Can I ask why? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, you don’t owe me an explanation.”

“Color is green,” Elena reassured her hastily. “And the why is…” She looked down at her feet, and Jane, clearly getting some sense as to where this was going, gently lifted Elena’s chin up. Elena met her gaze and felt a rush of warmth at the love and affection and amusement in Jane’s eyes. “… I want you to take off my shirt while I’m in your lap,” she said, her face flushing with embarrassment, and a smile danced across Jane’s face. 

“I think I can make that happen,” Jane said, and Elena’s stomach did somersaults again. Jane reached for her hand and pulled her toward the bed, propping herself against the pillows. Elena stopped still for a moment, drinking in the sight of Jane in the middle of their bed, her pupils dark and her lips swollen slightly from the bruising kisses she’d given Elena. Jane’s mouth quirked to the side. “I hate to sound impatient, but a very hot girl _did_ just tell me she wanted to be in my lap,” Jane said, and Elena ducked her head before she bounded onto the bed and crawled toward Jane. She pressed a kiss against Jane’s lips and undid one button of the shirt she was wearing—a shirt that definitely came from Sabina’s closet, not her own—before she straddled Jane. She bent down to kiss Jane again, but Jane stopped her gently with a hand on her chest, shaking her head. “Let me just enjoy the view for a second,” Jane said. Elena’s self-consciousness started screaming in the back of her mind, but Jane’s expression was so open and loving that she pushed that voice down and nodded at Jane, sitting back slightly. She felt Jane’s gaze rake slowly over her body and suppressed a shiver at the hunger that developed in her eyes. She ducked her head, but raised it again, making direct eye contact with Jane and biting her lip as she rolled her hips forward.

“_Jesus_, ‘Lena,” Jane said quietly. “Are you putting on a show on purpose?” Elena shifted in Jane’s lap, and Jane’s eyes darkened even more than they had already. “You _are_, aren’t you?” Jane breathed. “Trying to turn me on? Trying to be good for me?”

Elena couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her lips as she nodded. Jane’s hands dropped to Elena’s hips. “Tell me,” she instructed quietly, and Elena felt a shiver run down her spine. 

“I want to be good for you,” Elena whispered. Jane’s eyes were burning into her own, and she took a quick breath. “I want to turn you on, I want you to be proud of me –”

Her next words were cut off with a gasp as Jane slid one hand from Elena’s hip across her thigh and down to her core. Elena heard Jane exhale as she felt how wet Elena already was and Elena whimpered, Jane’s touch both far too much and far too light.

“Tell me what you want to be,” Jane instructed softly, her fingers pressing up against the fabric of Elena’s underwear. Elena choked on her gasp again. She knew exactly what Jane wanted to hear, because there was almost nothing that made Elena feel more submissive than having to say it. She also knew that Jane would never actually _make her_ say it, which almost made it worse; she had no plausible deniability, and the fact that she _wanted_ to was half the reason for the curl of shame in the bottom of her stomach in the first place. Jane didn’t ask again, just kept her fingers moving lightly, her eyes watching Elena calmly. Elena squirmed slightly before she ducked her head in defeat.

“I want to be your good girl,” she whispered, and when she looked up at Jane she almost groaned just at the raise of her eyebrows.

“Sweetheart, you know it doesn’t count as ‘telling me’ if you whisper it that quietly,” Jane said, her tone admonishing, and Elena whimpered, rocking her hips against Jane’s hand. Jane lightened her touch as she looked at Elena expectantly. “Look at me when you tell me, baby,” Jane commanded, and Elena felt her blush deepen when she looked at Jane.

“I want to be your good girl.” She managed to say it firmly this time, interrupted only by a sharp intake of breath when Jane’s fingers moved _just so_, and Jane smiled at her approvingly. Jane reached up and wrapped her free hand in Elena’s shirt, pulling her down for a kiss.

“You _are_ my good girl,” Jane said, and Elena couldn’t help a moan escape her lips. Jane flashed a wicked grin before she slid her tongue into Elena’s mouth and increased the pressure of her hand against Elena’s core, and Elena felt like she was on fire. The fact that Jane was pulling her down with a fist curled in the front of her shirt wasn’t helping. 

Jane gently nipped at her lip and Elena gasped lightly before pulling away. She shook her head at Jane’s questioning face. “You’re fine, I just _really_ want you to take off my shirt before you make me come just from kissing me,” she said, and hastily cut off the intrigued look Jane gave her. “We are _not_ testing that theory today,” she said firmly. “You can fuck me any of five hundred ways tonight, but you better _actually_ fuck me.”

Jane’s effort to suppress her laugh failed miserably. She sat up straighter so she could press a kiss to Elena’s lips. “Tell me about these five hundred ways,” she said suggestively, and Elena groaned. Jane laughed again. “Okay, fine, don’t list five hundred. But I would be very interested in you telling me exactly how you want me to fuck you tonight.” 

There was that blush again. Elena kissed Jane to avoid answering for a minute before she dropped her forehead against Jane’s and whined softly. 

“You don’t have to, baby,” Jane said, stroking Elena’s hair.

“I know,” Elena said with a slightly frustrated sigh, and the corners of Jane’s mouth twitched. 

“Here, how about this,” Jane said, and she pulled Elena forward slightly so she could press open-mouthed kisses up and down Elena’s neck. Elena felt a rush of affection for Jane, this incredible woman who knew her well enough to know Elena couldn’t look Jane in the eye while admitting to fantasies. Elena shuddered as Jane sucked a hickey at the base of her neck, and that was enough to make her start talking.

“I want… I want to be in your lap and grind on you until you get so impatient you flip us over and fuck me into the mattress,” she said in one hurried, rushed breath. She took another breath and said: “… And I want you to fuck my mouth with your fingers after I come and then make me come again.” She knew Jane was surprised by the last part because her mouth stilled on its path down toward Elena’s clavicle. Elena bit her lip hard as she waited for Jane’s response.

Jane _was_ clearly surprised, but a smile crept onto her face and she leaned up to kiss Elena in between words. “You… are _so_… fucking… hot,” Jane said, and Elena laughed and bit her lip.

“So you’re okay with all of that?” Elena asked, and Jane laughed. 

“I am definitely okay with all of that,” Jane said reassuringly. “And it sounds like you want me to be in control, but I just want to make sure that’s true before we start anything.”

Elena nodded. “I… kind of want you to _make_ me do all of that,” and Jane smiled up at her again, leaning up to kiss the underside of her jaw. 

“When do you want me to start?”

“Um… Now’s good,” Elena said, and Jane was clearly prepared for that response because as soon as the words left her lips, Jane’s hand was sliding into Elena’s hair and pulling sharply, forcing Elena’s hips to jut forward as her neck and back arched. Elena gasped, both at the suddenness of the contact and at the arousal that shot immediately down to her core and spread like wildfire through the rest of her body. “_Fuck_,” she whimpered, and the smirk on Jane’s face was cold and contemptuous in a way that sent another wave of heat through Elena’s body.

Jane pulled Elena’s hair again as she leaned up and bit Elena’s earlobe, then whispered two words harshly into her ear. “Grind. _Now_.”

Elena moaned, and Jane released her hair, leaning back against their headboard and raising one eyebrow at Elena in a clear _get on with it_ signal. Elena was already overwhelmed with arousal, but she obeyed Jane’s command and rolled her hips, grinding down firmly and emitting little open-mouthed gasps every time her core dragged across the clasp of Jane’s jeans in just the right way. Jane’s hands found their way to Elena’s hips again, and she pressed Elena down even harder, guiding—if not controlling—most of Elena’s movements. Once Elena had found a rhythm that Jane seemed satisfied with, one of Jane’s hands slid up Elena’s back again, and she preemptively shivered. Jane and Elena had established early on in their relationship that both of them thoroughly enjoyed Jane choking Elena and pulling Elena’s hair. Jane’s hand tangled loosely in Elena’s hair, but she didn’t tighten her grasp, and Elena felt a whine starting in the back of her throat.

“I want to hear you beg, darling,” Jane said, and Elena’s hips stuttered a bit at the pet name before she collected herself.

“Jane,” she pleaded, panting. “Please.”

“Please what?” Jane asked innocently, and Elena groaned in frustration.

“Please pull my hair – _fuck_,” Elena gasped, Jane having readily obliged, and Elena tilted her head back to accommodate. The hand that had been in her hair slid down and around to the front of Elena’s neck, and her hips stuttered again as she whimpered. 

She suspected Jane was nearing the end of her patience, and she was right, because the pressure on her throat suddenly disappeared and, seconds later, the button-down shirt she was wearing was unbuttoned—thoroughly, with the buttons scattered across the room. “That was – ” Elena gasped, and Jane interrupted.

“Sabina’s shirt, I know,” she said. “I bought it for her and I’ll buy her another one and also I _don’t care_ right now because _look at you_.” 

She’d pushed the shirt most of the way off Elena’s shoulders and was just leaning back, staring at her. Elena took a shaky breath and reached behind her back to unhook her bra, letting that fall down her arms as well. She started taking both off and Jane stopped her. 

“Take the bra off, put the shirt back on,” Jane said. She kissed Elena fiercely and then reached up and ran the palms of her hands over Elena’s newly-exposed nipples. “Girls in unbuttoned button-downs are hot anyway, and it is a hundred times hotter that I’m about to fuck you while you’re wearing Sabina’s shirt." Jane paused at the thought. "Oh, she's going to be so jealous when she finds out this happened while she was on a mission.”

“Do you think she’d fuck me wearing one of her shirts too?” Elena asked shakily, trying to cope with the constant stimulation Jane was giving to her nipples, and Jane gave her a look as she leaned back up toward Elena’s body.

“I will see to it personally that Sabina fucks you while you’re wearing one of her shirts,” Jane said firmly, and Elena had a brief but highly promising mental image of Jane ordering Sabina to take off her shirt and put it on Elena, and then ordering Sabina to fuck Elena with her strap-on. She was prevented from exploring the intricacies of that vision, though, because Jane took one of Elena’s nipples into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it, making Elena inhale sharply. Jane laughed softly in the back of her throat before switching sides. 

Elena knew that if she begged Jane to _please_ just fuck her into the mattress already, Jane would just make her wait even longer. She tried to be patient, but Jane was taking her sweet time and Elena thought she truly might die if Jane wasn't inside her right now immediately, so she bit the bullet and begged anyway. To Elena’s surprise, Jane must have also been very ready to move on, because it only took “please, Jane, _please_ fuck me” before Jane flipped them.

“Uh… hi,” Elena said, surprised, looking up at Jane, who was glowing like a literal goddess silhouetted against their ceiling light.

“Color?” Jane panted, and Elena responded near-instantly.

“Green.”

“I want to be a little more intense. Or mean. Or both. Is that okay?”

“_Fuck_, Jane,” Elena said, already feeling like she was burning up just from the heat in Jane’s gaze.

Jane leaned down and kissed her extremely gently before she pulled away and clarified. “Does that mean it’s okay or not okay?”

Elena sat up on her elbows and kissed Jane again, whispering her response against her lips. “I want you to be a little mean.”

Jane inhaled sharply and did a final check-in. “Colors if you can speak, three-two-one fingers if your mouth is full and smack me if I’m not looking at your hands?” 

Elena held up three fingers – the “green” of that system – and placed her hand on the back of Jane’s neck, pulling her down toward her. “_Please, Jane_,” she begged, and Jane gave her a look that sent fire racing through her veins.

“Shut up,” Jane growled, and gave her a filthy kiss before sliding her hand down Elena’s stomach and dipping past the edge of her underwear. Elena gasped as Jane’s strong fingers slid across her clit, and she almost came seconds later when Jane firmly pressed two fingers inside her and, despite her promise to be mean, couldn’t prevent a small whine from escaping her lips. Elena arched off the bed, dragging her nails down Jane’s back, and Jane fucked even further into her than she had already. 

“You’re so wet,” Jane panted. “So desperate. How badly do you need me, Elena?”

Elena felt herself convulse around Jane’s fingers at the use of her name. She whined high in her mouth. “So badly, Jane, I need you, _please_.”

“What if I brought you right to the edge and then stopped? What would you do?” Jane asked, a slight mocking edge to her tone, her mouth parted as she stared down at Elena. Her fingers, thankfully, showed no signs of stopping, but her words still increased Elena’s desperation threefold. 

“Jane, _please_ no,” Elena begged. She felt near tears, and she knew Jane could hear it in her voice, because Jane was opening her mouth to speak when Elena interrupted. “Green, I’m green, I promise,” she said desperately, and Jane’s mouth snapped shut. “Keep going, I’m so close, _please_–” 

Jane slipped another finger inside her and Elena’s whimper was higher than she’d ever heard it. Jane didn’t let up her pace at all, just leaned over and whispered harshly in Elena’s ear. “You’re not coming until I give you permission.”

Elena almost came from that alone, which was not an auspicious start, but she nodded desperately. Jane grinned and changed the angle of her arm, dragging her fingers across Elena’s inner walls.

“Oh fuck, _Jane_,” Elena gasped. “_Fuck_. Please let me come, I’m so close, please…”

“Should I choke you or pull your hair?” Jane asked mockingly, and while Elena knew she could always, always say no, she was way too close to orgasm to handle Jane talking to her in such a hot way without coming immediately, so she answered as quickly as possible.

“Choke me,” she panted, and Jane’s mouth curved into a smirk that had a mean edge. The hand that had been pressing down on Elena’s abdomen moved upward and applied the same amount of pressure to her throat, and Elena felt her head swim. “Jane, I can’t –”

She was interrupted by Jane leaning down and giving her a bruising kiss. “If you want to be a good girl, come for me,” Jane ordered, twisting her fingers to hit a new angle as she held Elena down by her throat. “Now.” Elena felt her entire body convulse as she came, crying out against Jane’s lips. Jane kissed gently as she came down from it and held her through the aftershocks that sent tremors through her body. They sat up together, Jane wrapping her arms around Elena and pulling her back so that Elena was leaning against Jane’s body. As she came back around, Elena became dimly aware of Jane whispering sweet nothings as she pressed gentle kisses to her shoulders. 

“Jane, holy shit,” Elena said weakly, and Jane laughed. 

“Agreed, holy shit. How are you feeling?”

“I think I’m okay,” Elena said, stretching out a bit to make sure. “But… _wow_.”

“Okay, darling,” Jane said, kissing the top of her head. “Now that you’re a little more present, I’m going to go get you some water and a blanket. Are you good for a minute or two?”

“Yeah,” Elena said, leaning up for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart,” Jane said, and pressed a final kiss to her temple before she got up and left to fetch the water & blanket.

Elena leaned back against their pillows and stared up at the ceiling. “_Wow_,” she repeated. She felt a laugh bubble up in her throat and was still laughing when Jane came back in, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders, making her drink two full glasses of water, and kissing so many places that Elena started to tease her for it. Jane was rolling her eyes when Elena leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

“I love you,” she repeated, and Jane looked at her with a fond, loving expression playing across her face.

“I love you too, Angel,” Jane replied, and this time it was Elena rolling her eyes. Jane flashed her a quick grin before kissing Elena’s forehead. “Hey, I know we didn’t technically finish the scene…”

Elena pulled back and gave her a quizzical look, and Jane shrugged self-consciously. “You said something about me fucking your mouth with my fingers?”

A delighted grin spread across Elena’s face. “Oh my god, you’re really into that idea,” she breathed, and Jane tried—and failed—to look uninterested. 

“I just didn’t want you to be upset that we didn’t get all the way through it.”

“Jane, seriously, I think I might have died if you had made me come again. I’m already pretty sure I saw God,” Elena said, and Jane's laugh had Elena's heart bursting with affection. 

“Yeah? What’d she look like?” Jane asked, still chuckling.

“Ethnically ambiguous.”

Jane groaned. “You _really_ need to stop watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine reruns,” she said, and Elena gave her an offended look.

“I’ll have you know I’ve only seen that episode twice,” Elena said indignantly. “It’s not my fault it’s an iconic line.”

“I’m not going to bother arguing with that.”

“Yeah, because I’m _right_.”

Jane just laughed and grabbed Elena’s hand, pulling it up to her lips and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “We’ll talk through the scene tomorrow, yeah? It’s late, I feel like it’s probably best for us to just go to bed. But if you want to talk about it now, we can.”

“Tomorrow’s good,” Elena said sleepily. “You’re hot when you’re mean.”

“I am going to save my response to that for tomorrow,” Jane said drily, but Elena could see the corners of her mouth twitching. 

“You think it’s hot too,” Elena said. “_And_ you’re into the idea of fucking my mouth with your fingers.”

“I am trying _so_ hard not to get riled up again, sweetheart,” Jane said, taking deeper breaths than normal. “_Please_ help me out with that.”

Elena huffed but rolled over. “Fine,” she said. Even though she couldn’t see it, she knew Jane was rolling her eyes at her before she shifted downward so she could wrap an arm around Elena. Elena made it a solid forty-five seconds before she spoke again. “… Bet Sabina would like seeing you fucking my face with your fingers.”

“Jesus _Christ_,” Jane said, rolling over away from Elena, looking like she’d been hit over the head. “Go. To. Bed. I am genuinely begging you.”

“That’s quite a turn of events,” Elena replied, and laughed out loud at the exasperated look on Jane’s face. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m shutting up now.”

Jane gave her a suspicious look, but put her arm back around Elena. A quarter of an hour later, when their breathing had evened out and Elena was sure Jane thought she was asleep, she felt Jane remove her arm and turn over slightly. She gave it a minute before she spoke.

“… Are you texting Sabina about fu-”

“BED.”

“Ugh, fine. But you definitely are.” Elena pouted.

“Am not.”

“Lemme see your phone, then.”

“I absolutely will do no such thing.” Jane said magnanimously, and Elena rolled over to glare at her. 

“I wrote all of the encryption software, I can get the data anyway.”

“That would be a huge ethical violation, and _you_ would never do something like that, Ms. Corporate Whistleblower.”

Elena’s jaw dropped in mock outrage. “How _dare_ you use that against me.”

Jane was opening her mouth to retort when her phone chirped with an incoming text and Elena gave her a sly look. 

“Huh, did you hear something?” Jane said. “I definitely didn’t.”

“Give me the damn phone, Kano,” Elena said, and Jane raised an eyebrow at her.

“We’re doing the last name thing now? Fine. I will NOT give you the damn phone, Houghlin, and you need to go. The fuck. To sleep.”

“You’re _so_ annoying,” Elena pouted, and Jane just gave her a look.

“Right, because I’m definitely the annoying one in this situation.”

“Hmph,” Elena responded elegantly. There was silence for a few minutes, then: “… She’s into it, isn’t she.”

“_Elena._” 

“FINE! God.”

Jane glanced over at her phone and rolled her eyes. “… But yes, she is."

“I knew it!” Elena crowed, and Jane flicked her shoulder. 

“If you say one more word between now and 7am I will personally make sure that your shower runs cold for the next three weeks.” 

Elena gasped. “You wouldn’t!”

“Try me,” Jane said grimly, and Elena gave her a very put-out expression before she grumbled and wrapped herself in the covers.

“… Goodnight,” Jane said, amused, and Elena laughed, turning over to press a final kiss against Jane’s lips.

“Goodnight. I love you,” she said, and Jane smiled as Elena rolled back on her side. 

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

_“Ich liebe dich mehr.”_

_“Ich spreche auch deutsch, Spasti.”_

_“…Scheiße."_

**Author's Note:**

> translation of the last three lines: I love you more. / I speak German too, dumbass. / ... Shit. [I have no clue how to capitalize in German and Google was NOT helping so if anyone sees something wrong, please hmu.]
> 
> shoutout to the discord for <strike>ruining my life</strike> all of the inspiration, y'all rock


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